Eating Carefully At Cafe Rio

February 17, 2012 by · 1 Comment

One of my favorite restaurants is Cafe Rio, a Utah-based Mexican fast casual diner. Tacos, burritos, enchiladas, salads, tostadas, and nachos galore! Their signature meat is a sweet pork barbacoa, pulled to perfection. The portions are plentiful and prices are reasonable. Oh, and the food tastes wonderful too.

All of these things are great…unless you’ve had weight loss surgery. Today was my coworker Suzanne’s last day, and a bunch of people met for lunch at Cafe Rio. I was feeling good and craving the Rio, so I decided to show up a little early, save some tables, and look over the menu with a fine-toothed comb.

After assessing what I can eat and what was on the menu, I thought of the genius idea for my dietary needs – a portion of pork barbacoa, smothered with green sauce and melted cheese. I talked to three different people at the register, showed them my dietary needs card, and they were all kinda weird about me ordering it. Since it would be about 4 bucks, it didn’t really seem worth it to me because I’d only be eating about 2 ounces of it. Plus, they acted like it was a huge inconvenience.

So instead, I ate off of Suzanne’s giant pork nachos. I took three chips from her pile, and only ate the pork and cheese, with a little bit of well-chewed pico de gallo. I tried the back beans, but they weren’t soft enough to mash, so I didn’t have them. I barely made a dent in her dish, and picked at the meat and cheese a little more over the hour, but left the restaurant feeling comepletely satisfied. Best part is that I got to eat some of my favorite food, meed my dietary needs, and it didn’t get me sick at all. Win win!

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More Energy And Less Medication

February 15, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

Today I started the day with a peach protein smoothie. Because I’m now able to eat fruit, here’s my easy smoothie of the morning:

  • EAS AdvantEdge RTD protein shake
  • small can of diced peaches in own juice
  • lots of ice
  • Sugar-free Torani vanilla syrup

Usually I blend enough that it’s really smooth and thin, and I save half to have in the afternoon.

I didn’t think it would happen so soon, but I’m actually feeling like I’m really getting better. My energy is up and my pain level is down. I’ve only been taking about half as much Lortab as I was last week, and sometimes I feel good enough to skip a dose. For a while I was scared about how soon I would need to go back to work, but now I think I’ll be ready for next week.

Today when it was time to take my second pain meds of the day, I felt good enough that I didn’t need to take them on time. Because I’ve been restricted from driving since surgery, I thought I’d take this pain-free time to go on a joyride. I made a few stops, walked around a few stores, and enjoyed being out of the house for about an hour.

riverwalk apartments utahWhen I got back, my friend Marci came over to help me with some cleaning. As wonderful as my husband is at taking care of me, he doesn’t understand that a messy house hinders my recovery. Marci scrubbed the bathrooms until they were spotless, and did little things to straighten up a few rooms. I couldn’t do much, but it felt good to be productive.

This evening, I went out again with Mary and Shay, and they wanted to get Red Mango. I have been wanting some frozen yogurt, and I like their froyo because it has it has live and active cultures (which my body desperately needs after so many antibiotics). It’s low on calories and fat, but a bit high in sugar, so I only had a few bites. It was such a treat!

Today’s food diary:

  • peach protein smoothie
  • refried beans with melted cheese
  • shaved deli turkey with whipped light cream cheese
  • Red mango frozen yogurt  (about 2 TB)
  • 1/2 stick string cheese
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One Week Down

February 14, 2012 by · 1 Comment

I’m a week post-op, and I feel like I’m healing pretty well. The immediate symptoms of my pneumonia are easing up, and I’ve started taking less pain medication. I’m still not able to be very active, but I get out walking at least once a day. It’s been nice to spend more time at home with Taylor and Rosie, even though I get cabin fever pretty easily.

Finishing up the first week brings with it something very exciting – new foods! I’ve gone from clear liquids to semi-solids to selected solids. I’ve been so happy to eat lean meat again. I can have shaved deli-sliced meat, minced up and chewed thoroughly. Canned chicken, turkey and tuna are also permitted. Other items I’ve added into my diet are cottage cheese, yogurt, egg whites, cooked beans, hummus, and selected soft cooked vegetables (carrots, beets, yams, green beans). Some people buy baby food, but I’d rather prepare my own stuff. Tonight my family wanted to have Mexican food, and I had my refried beans with cheese and a few bites of meat.

My happy news of the day is that I got on a scale, and I’ve had a great loss! I now weigh 355.2, which is down 18 pounds from my pre-surgery diet weight of 373.4 (1/30/12) and down 9 pounds from my pre-op weight of 363.3. Not bad for two weeks!

Today’s food:

  • Protein smoothie with peaches, strawberries, and banana – 3 oz
  • Shaved turkey breast with whipped light cream cheese – 2 oz
  • Refried beans with cheese and a little meat – 3 oz
  • Sugar-free fat-free vanilla pudding – 2 oz
  • Simply Apple juice – 3 oz
  • Water intake – 64 oz (finally did it!)
Thank you to all who commented on my Weighty Impressions post. I’ve had an outpouring of love and support. Many of those who related had been belittled and bullied for reasons other than obesity, and it’s heartbreaking to see how cruel people can be. It’s good to know I’m not alone, and that others have shared their stories.
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Weighty Impressions

February 13, 2012 by · 43 Comments

judge notToday was a tough day emotionally. Several instances of insensitivity really got me into an introspective mood. There are a lot of things that have been on my mind today, and I’ve been pondering thoughts regarding the perception of others. Specifically, how obese people are perceived by those who look at them.

I’m writing this while I’m completely emotionally charged. I might curse and say things that I later regret, but I feel like I’m going to explode if I don’t get it out there (at least for a short time). In fact, this post may suddenly disappear in the future.

I’ve always believed that every joke or tease has an element of truth to it. So even when somebody says “just kidding!” after a mean comment, there had to be something they believed about the remark as a reference point. Teasing never just comes totally out of the blue. I also believe that some topics should never be teased about.

Honestly, I can take a joke about 97% of the rude remarks people make about me. Like about my big boobs. Yes, they’re always in the way. Come up with anything dumb to say about it because I’m comfortable with my mammary largesse. I’ll usually laugh at anything you have to say. But I don’t know ANYONE who is 100% comfortable with joking criticism about weight and health.

While I’m aware that my body is disgusting to many people, I know that I’ve done my very best over the last two decades to get to a healthy weight. I try to dress well for my body shape, I bathe and I’m properly groomed, I know how to accessorize and make myself look pretty amazing. So when I hear people say “you’ve let yourself go” or they tell me I’m lazy, it honestly pisses me off. If I’d let myself go, I’d probably weigh double what I do now. If I was a lazy person, I would have zero muscle tone nor tolerance for exercise.

Not only do many people assume obese people are lazy, they also assume that they are dirty and smelly, dumb and uneducated, have no common decency, or that you have some kind of invisible disability. But as the old saying goes… if you ASSUME, it makes an ASS of U and ME.

I am aware that some people are just mean to others because it makes them feel better. Case in point: there is an annoying fake Twitter account that was set up to mock me. It’s basically a guy version of me, but much more crass. I know who is behind it, and it’s a person who will always be nice to my face, but watches my blog and social media feeds like a hawk to find fodder for his tweets. He’s a flat out bully. I joke that he’s either totally in love with me (and embarrassed about it) or feels so awful about himself that he found an easy target. His latest tweet was likening my surgery blog and pictures to him getting a penis enlargement, and how he’s so vain he’ll be tweeting pictures of it. Really classy.

I know some are scared of being seen with a fat person or of fat people in general. Cacomorphobia is a fear of fat or obese people, who are literally being terrified of being around a fat person without a rational reason. I’m certain I’ve been avoided just for that reason – some people are scared of me. I often feel shunned in social situations because people try to act like I don’t exist. Or people think I will be dangerous or “a liability” to them.

As you can see, I’m very sensitive to the way others perceive and treat me. Much of my time in the therapist’s chair is dealing with painful experiences from insensitive people, and trying to not care about others opinions. My life is already a flux between despair and euphoria, and I’m trying to not add in the hurt that others try to cause me.

But the scars are deep. I’ll never forget when a bunch of 5th grade boys in my class started chanting “Fat bitch! Fat bitch!” in the lunchroom. Fifth grade! I’ll never forget the time when my weight exceeded the point that my husband found me sexually unattractive, and the conversation that I had with him. It breaks my heart every time I smile and make eye contact with someone, and they veer off in another direction. I try to deal, and I try to forgive, but I’ll never forget.

My plea to you? BE NICE. Treat others with kindness and give them the benefit of the doubt. Try to imagine yourself in others circumstances, and act respectfully. And remember to keep your words sweet and tender, because tomorrow you may have to eat them.

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I Have Pneumonia – Post-Op Day 5

February 12, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

Today was really rough. I knew it would be from the moment that I woke up.

I had a headache more severe than I’d ever experienced, with blurred vision and vertigo. I wake up with a headache fairly often, usually when my CPAP mask hasn’t sealed very well in the night, depriving me of oxygen. But I also had extreme discomfort in my chest, particularly on my lower left side. There was a lot of tightness and shortness of breath too.

I knew I wouldn’t last very long feeling the way I did, so I popped a Lortab and tried to get comfortable and let the pain subside. By about 8am, it wasn’t getting any better, so I called the surgeon on call. It took almost an hour for Dr. McKinley to get back to me, and we discussed my symptoms. He said that my problems could be a variety of conditions, but I’d need lab work, radiology and a full evaluation to know for sure. He advised me to go to the St Marks emergency room right away.

The next few hours were a series of pokes and prods. I first got an IV in my right arm, but it wouldn’t advance in correctly. But it was enough to get my blood drawn and start me on fluids and main medication. I had a chest x-ray, then went to radiology for CT scans. I had to drink some nasty contrast fluid, which was basically radioactive Crystal Light. But because they were doing tests that needed a larger gauge IV, they sent me back to the ER for a new IV.

Little did I know they’d be doing an IV in my NECK! The nurse felt around, and the best vein option was in external jugular, calling it very “juicy.” I went back to CT, drank the radioactive Crystal Light again, and was hooked up to this witch doctory apparatus full of radioactive liquid. Through the CT, they did a chest and abdominal series, then a pulmonary series to rule out an embolism. During they pulmonary series, they pushed in the clear liquid into my neck vein, and it felt like my body was in an oven, inside and out. It was such a crazy and uncomfortable feeling, feeling like I was melting from the inside out.

After several more hours of waiting as doctors and radiologists evaluated my tests, it was determined that I have pneumonia. There is an irritated “solid infiltrate” in my lower left lung, which is likely causing all the chest pain and shortness of breath. After almost 90 minutes beyond my diagnosis, I was finally discharged. The whole process at the ER was about 7 hours.

I picked up my prescriptions, including a generous refill of Lortab elixir, went home and got in my jammies. After being required to fast from food and drink for the day, I was quite ravenous. I fudged my eating guidelines a bit through the evening, trying to get in adequate nutrition. I also added in a new food to my semi-solid food regimen – hummus! Oh, how I’ve missed hummus. It’s just a little strange to eat it straight off the plate with no veggies or crackers, but I gobbled up all 2 tablespoons.

Today’s food diary:

  • 1/4 cup egg whites with melted cheese
  • 3 oz soft serve ice cream
  • 2 tablespoons hummus
  • 2 oz Simply Apple juice
  • 1 wedge of light Laughing Cow cheese
  • 1 sugar-free popcicle

 

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Post-Op Day 4

February 11, 2012 by · 3 Comments

The most pressing item of the day was to figure out a way to get comfortable. It was tough to prop up pillows on my bed and couch to get into a position without feeling chest pain. When I had surgery in 2005, my saving grace was my La-Z-Boy recliner. Since we’ve moved several times since then, we no longer have it available to use.

Taylor and I went on a daunting journey to both RC Willey and Furniture Warehouse (which despite months of “FINAL LIQUIDATION” notices, I doubt will ever actually go out of business.) The prices at RC Willey were better than Furniture Warehouse, but to get a recliner that was decently comfortable (and easy to maneuver the lever) was going to cost several hundred dollars. I can’t believe how many times I was able to stand up and down in the stores, and I had very sore abdominal muscles after.

I wouldn’t have minded putting out that kind of money to get comfortable, but there were NO chairs where the color, fabric, and design were right. I didn’t want to spent $289-699 on a chair that I hated looking at, no matter how comfortable it was. I was however, briefly intrigued by what I called the “Words with Friends” chair. Perfect for playing your favorite crossword game!

We ended up asking my parents if we could borrow their recliner for a few weeks, while I get my post-op discomfort under control. After a lengthy afternoon nap, we went to Lehi to have dinner with my parents. I gave them an update on how my recovery is going, talked about the upcoming stages in what food I can eat, pick up the recliner, and then we had dinner.

mashed potatoes and gravy

I read on a forum online that it’s okay to have powdered mashed potatoes at this stage of my recovery, so mashed potatoes has been on my mind all day. My parents made up some leftover meat and I had my little bit of mashed potatoes and beef gravy with some melted cheese. It’s the closest to a meal that I feel like I’ve had all week. This is what it looked like before, and I wasn’t even able to finish it.

As for the rest of the day, I was able to eat a little more than yesterday. I got in my chewable multivitamin twice, and my B-12 drops. Here’s what I was able to eat for the day. I’m putting total amounts consumed because some meals I have a bite or two of something different. I’ve been really digging apple juice, so I have it a few times a day, usually watered down to count it toward my daily water intake.

  • Simply Apple juice (4 oz)
  • 3 Tablespoons cottage cheese
  • 1 light Premium Creamies banana popcicle (half at two meals)
  • 3 Tablespoons mashed potatoes, gravy, and melted havarti
  • 1/4 cup sugar-free fat-free pudding
  • Water intake – 53 oz

 

 

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Post-Op Aches And Pains

February 10, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

motorized grocery cart

Yesterday I started the day feeling pretty awesome, all things considered. I told Taylor I wanted to go to Wal-Mart and ride the cart around the store to get all the foods that I want. Even though I was riding around most of the time, it was still exhausting to leave the house…especially having to climb 3 flights of stairs to get back to my apartment.

One of the most frustrating revelations that I’ve had this week is that I’ve been taking too much pain medication. I was given a bottle of liquid Lortab to manage my pain after I was taken off my PCA pump in the hospital. Even though the instructions on the bottle clearly state 3 TEASPOONS every 4 hours, I read it as 3 TABLESPOONS. It wasn’t a pharmacy error, it was me being out of it and measuring my meds out in the same little cups as my food and drinks.

As a result, I’ve either been far too medicated, or not medicated enough. When I called the doctor’s office concerned about the amount of Lortab I had left, the nurse told me that “extra strength Tylenol should be perfectly sufficient” at this point. Let me tell you…after major abdominal surgery, 2 days of Lortab is not enough before switching to Tylenol.

I’ve been trying to increase my water consumption to 64 ounces a day. I’m more likely to drink it when there is ice in it, but if I drink too much at once it HURTS. It feels like a punch to the chest, and the pain has to slowly subside as my my pouch empties. I’m also drinking watered down apple juice, broth, and a special chocolate milk drink.  Today I’ve eaten most of a stick of string cheese, a wedge of Laughing Cow cheese, and some sugar-free jello. I’m looking forward to being able to eat strained cream soups and pudding tomorrow. It’s getting a little boring.

A few people have asked me to post a picture of what my belly looks like right now. The small bandages are steri-strips over the laparoscopic ports from surgery. The big gauze bandage is covering the hole where my JP tube was. It’s still the part of me that hurts the most, but it’s not as tender as it was the past two days.

cpap LT for her

I’ve had a few visitors since I’ve been home from the hospital. My neighbor Angie came over to bring dinner to my family last night. My Yelp buddy who I refer to as “the other Nicole B.” brought by flowers and a care package. My brother Jacob stopped by for a few minutes, as did my friend Emily. I don’t have much tolerance for long visits, but I do like to see people. Especially when I don’t have to take my flights of stairs to leave the house.

As for rest, I ‘m sleeping 4-6 hours a night, with a nap here and there. Because of my severe sleep apnea, I have to be vigilant about always using my CPAP mask. If I don’t use it when I’m dozing off, I get very light headed and get tingly hands and limbs. It ain’t pretty, but it’s what I gotta do.

 

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Surgery Post-Op Day 1 And Hospital Discharge

February 8, 2012 by · 5 Comments

One of the hardest things about an inpatient hospital stay is the nighttime. It’s meant to be a time of rest, but really, it’s a chance for everyone who has access to your room to interrupt your much needed sleep. Nurses, phlebotomists, assistants, and orderlies seem to have a knack for knocking on your door between the hours of 11pm and 5am. Last night I had 9 interruptions between these hours. Not cool, hospital!

Fortunately, I was able to get lots of rest during the day. Probably a total of 3 solid hours, which was more than I got during the entire night. Taylor slept at home last night so he could get Rosie off to school in the morning, and he arrived at the hospital around 9am. By the time he got there, I’d been up walking around the floor, had a nap, and met with Dr. Smith for a bit.

Dr. Smith said the incisions were healing well, and I was set for discharge around 5pm. He was concerned that my oxygen saturation had dropped so much in the times I’d been walking around (down to 84% at times), so he was considering sending me home with an O2 tank. He said that he biopsied a small lesion on my liver during surgery…it may have been a scar, could be some kind of benign bump, but he wanted to make sure it wasn’t anything serious. He joked that if I have cancer, I’d be in a much better place to fight it with my lower weight. Thanks doc!

I tried to get up to go for a walk every time that I had to use the restroom. I already had to go through the effort to get OUT of bed and untangle all of my IV cords, so it wasn’t that much harder to take a walk around the floor. I would carefully put on my robe over my IV arm, and I was glad the robe was short-sleeved to allow that.

One of the happiest moments of the day was when I upgraded from water to broth and sugar-free jello. In the morning, I was able to go from drinking one ounce to two ounces of water. Once I was able to do this successfully, I was able to have broth and jello for lunch. I’ve never been much of a broth fan, but that beef broth was delicious. I couldn’t tell what flavor the jello was (lemon, tropical, mango?) but the three cubes in my cup were lovely.

In the afternoon, I napped, watched a movie on my laptop with Taylor, and prepared for discharge. My PCA pump was discontinued and I had some liquid Lortab. I needed to take a shower, which was quite a production. I had to put a rubber glove over my IV hand, then have the top taped tightly to avoid water from seeping in. I had a big gauze pad over my stapled incisions and JP drian, to they had to put this sticky sterile plastic sheet on me. I took a shower and washed my body with special soap. I also washed my hair because I can’t get my incisions wet until tomorrow evening.  After my shower, the IV was removed, my incision staples were replaced with steri-strips, and the JP drain was removed and bandaged.

After I was bandaged and dressed in my street clothes, I got my discharge instructions from my nurse. They outlined what I’d be able to eat and drink for the next few days, gave me my nifty hospital mug, helped me pack up my belongings, and wheeled me down to the valet parking area. We stopped by Walgreens to drop off my prescription for liquid Lortab, and headed home. It was SO hard to walk up to my 3rd floor apartment, but I slowly made it up one step at a time.

Rosie made me some fresh jello and chicken broth, and I ate while they had spaghetti and garlic bread from a ward member. It felt very disjointed to have something so bland while they ate something flavorful, but I knew my body wouldn’t tolerate even a bite. Taylor ran back to Walgreens for my pain meds, at which time I was sobbing in pain. I didn’t realize what my actual body pain level was until I was completely off any medicine, and it wasn’t pretty. I was sobbing as I swallowed it and washed it down with water. He helped me realize that I’d had far too much to drink at once (3T of Lortab with several sips of water to wash it down). He grabbed a mug for me to swish and spit to get the taste out of my mouth. I quickly fell asleep for about 2 hours, at which time I felt much better. I can take the Lortab every 4 hours, which gave me just enough time to write this post before taking my drugs and going to sleep for the night.

Thank you again to all those who have been checking up on me and sending well wishes. It’s been a tough day emotionally, as well as physically, and I’ve appreciated all the messages, texts, and calls I’ve gotten (even when I’ve been too out of it to respond, or to reply comprehensibly – I know I’ve sent some pretty jibberish messages).

Tomorrow I’ll be advancing to a full liquid diet, and I look forward to more than just broth and jello. The plan is to get a lot of rest, but I’ll be going on an outing to the grocery store for some sugar-free Popsicles.

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Surgery Day

February 7, 2012 by · 5 Comments

Today I had surgery, and as far as I know, it went just as planned. I don’t feel good enough to write a full post tonight, but I just wanted to say I’m hanging in there.

Thank you for all your prayers, visits, tweets, and well wishes. It’s been a difficult day, but I haven’t had any major complications. I’ve eased up to 1 ounce of water to be sipped an hour, and tomorrow I’ll graduate to broth an sugar free Jell-o. If everything goes as planned, I’ll be released home Wednesday afternoon/evening.

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Barium Is Gross – Day Before Surgery Post

February 6, 2012 by · 1 Comment

Did you know that it’s REALLY hard to find a long bathrobe? There are tons of robes that are knee-length robes, and even some pretty sexy ones since Valentines Day is next week, but to find a modest robe that will cover your derriere in a hospital gown? Good luck with that! I almost went with the haus frau look in this stylish polka-dot “duster,” but decided to just wear the simple white knit knee-length robe that I already have in my closet.

Today was a pretty crazy day. I had to wake up earlier than (my husband and) I wanted to get some tests done in radiology. But since I had to arrive fasting for the tests, it was kinda nice to have it overwith by 9:30. I had to register (again) and then wait for my procedures. First I had an abdominal ultrasound of my gall bladder to see if I need to have it removed. I’ve had several ultrasounds before, but I’ve got to say it HURTS when they’re repeatedly pressing the transducer into you, right on the edges of your ribs, over and over.

yuckyNext, I went into a different area of radiology for the upper GI procedure. For some reason, I was expecting to have an endoscopy where a scope went down my throat, but it was just a barium swallow study. First, they gave me these really sour/bitter crystals to eat with a little bit of liquid. Oh my goodness – I’ve never been so burpy/bubbly, and they told me to avoid burping. I stood on a platform with my back flat on a “wall”, and I had to start drinking barium.

Have you ever had barium? It’s like the worst milkshake you’ve ever had. It’s like drinking a thick sweet chalky glue. Sooo gross! For the barium swallow test, I had to drink gulps of the liquid, and every time it made me gag and wretch. After I was scanned standing up, they tilted the “wall” I was standing up against 90 degrees, so I was laying flat. Then I had to roll around on the table, sit up, lay on my side, and keep sipping barium through a straw. It was not fun at all. But this is the test that checks to see if you have a hiatal hernia (which Dr Smith suspects),  and I’ll find out in the morning if they’ll be reparing the mythical hernia and removing my gallbladder at the same time as the gastric bypass.

When the testing was done, I was able to break my fast. I had a certificate for a free meal at Tucano’s, and so I had my final solid food meal as Brazilian barbecue.  With me adjusting my diet to prepare for surgery, I was glad I didn’t have to pay for the meal because I really didn’t eat that much.  We walked around The Gateway and picked up a few things, and then went to the grocery store. I picked up cartons of broth, juice, yogurt, and other things I’ll be able to eat in my first week.  The rest of the day was spent with family and preparing for surgery. I also uploaded my first vlog post:

My food diary for today is a little screwy because I had to fast until 10 am, then I went on my clear liquid diet at 3 pm. I have know idea what my calorie counts are, so here’s just what I ate:

  • Breakfast burrito (right after procedures)
  • Brazilian barbecue with salad bar
  • Biscoff spread on a graham cracker
  • Apple juice (to wash down the yucky bowel prep drink)

Tomorrow I report to St. Mark’s Hospital ambulatory surgery at 6am. I’ll be having updates posted on Twitter and Facebook, and I don’t know if I’ll be up to a day-of-surgery post yet. Wish me luck!

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