health

Three Years Later: Life After My Gastric Bypass Surgery

February 24, 2015 by Nicole Bullock · 13 Comments

Transparency can be a difficult thing.

When I decided to start Beauty and the Bypass, I was feeling empowered. After years of unsuccessful weight loss attempts, I was ready to proactively change my life. I was motivated to not only be a success for myself, but to inspire other people to do hard things.

Year one was the year of achievement. I went under the knife. I shared my ups, downs, and sideways moments. I hit many numerical goals and shared frequent non-scale victories. I lost 100 pounds in 6.5 months, and was down exactly 130 pounds on my one year “surgiversary.” But that was a one-day weight…and possibly a fluke with my scale.

At the beginning, I wanted desperately to be able to glide into Onederland and be under 200 pounds. But on my best and lowest day, I was 241. I hovered between 245 and 255 for the next year, struggling with reactive hypoglycemia, mono, peritonsillar abscesses and some deep mental health struggles. In October 2013, I had a tonsillectomy which resolved the recurring infections and mono. However, within a month of the surgery, I moved from Salt Lake City to Detroit and started a new job. Talk about a crazy whirlwind!

Once I was in Detroit, I had a few personal epiphanies about my happiness. Because I was in a new place, re-establishing friend groups and professional ties…I realized how taxing it was to be “weight loss girl”. I was insecure about my weight loss success story because I was still technically obese. While specific numerical weight goals were in my head, my real personal goals were physical health (reduction of comorbid conditions like sleep apnea and hypertension), mental health, and ability of participate in physical activities without my weight/size limiting me. I realized that I had achieved improved health and activity, but my mental health was still lacking.

As a sufferer of depression and anxiety since my teen years, I’ve tried plenty of medications and met with quite a few mental health professionals. The pills and visits seemed to help me situationally, but I still would get into phases where my coping skills were poor. And whereas food was a frequent coping mechanism prior to surgery, I had lost my ability to medicate with food to a degree. After a long hard look at my life, my happiness, and my health…I decided that blogging no longer brought me the satisfaction it had for over a decade.

So I stopped giving myself arbitrary expectations of writing posts…just because. I got many concerned messages from readers, and I wasn’t exactly sure what to say. I was living my life as a healthier woman, and didn’t necessarily want the voyeurs of the interwebz to have access to my deepest and darkest. I posted a little on my Beauty and the Bypass Twitter and Facebook pages, but the previous drive to maintain my online success was gone. I declined sponsorships, product reviews, and opportunities to make money off my weight loss success. Some days I regretted it…but it was largely a relief to take myself out of the spotlight.

I knew I’d still want to make occasional updates on the blog, but I feel like most of my gastric bypass story has been told. There are bloggers I adore such as Melting Mama and Eggface who continually update the WLS world on post-op life. But since several people have asked me to give an update, here are a few highlights of 2014.

My friend Wendy contacted me and said she was going to be coming to town in October to do the Detroit Free Press international half-marathon. Through her powers of persuasion, i consented. I’m not a runner by any means, and I care about my joints too much to take up rigorous running at this weight. So I walked and jogged 13.1 miles through Detroit and Windsor, ON. It was the most physically taxing thing I’ve ever done, but I hobbled through the last 2 miles and sprinted across the finish line to get my awesome finisher medal.

I was very into tracking my fitness during the year with my Fitbit One Activity Tracker (add me on my Fitbit profile). I made a goal of walking 3 MILLION STEPS in 2015…and I accomplished it. In fact, I ended the year with a total of 3,433,531 steps, which was the equivalent of 1593.95 miles. Also, I climbed 3,748 flights of stairs! But one thing that I learned is that steps alone won’t make you lose weight…and an active lifestyle still requires control of what you eat. I was less careful about my intake in 2014, and that’s part of the reason I had some regain. I own it, and I’m working on it.

Another highlight of 2014 was my family trip to Amsterdam. When the Bullock family travels, we do so in short intense bursts. With only 4 days in the Netherlands, we crammed in as much excitement as physically and financially possible. We walked and walked and ate and enjoyed time as a family (and I celebrated my 10 year wedding anniversary with Taylor). It was such a happy trip, and I would not have been able to enjoy it so much had I not lost the weight from gastric bypass.

My weight has crept up to 270ish, and my goal for 2015 is to tackle some of this regain. It’s hard to stay active through Detroit’s arctic winters, but I look forward to spring when I will be able to ride my bike all over my area and spend my lunch breaks wandering through Detroit people watching and taking pictures.

And that’s my 3-year post-op update.

Filed Under: health · Tagged With: health, introspection, post-op, weight loss, weight loss surgery

Finding The Answers: Mono and My Tonsils

November 20, 2013 by Nicole Bullock · 1 Comment

My, my, my. It has been a crazy few months. Crazy difficult.

I haven’t felt like myself for months. Starting in May, around the time I went to Vegas, I began feeling extreme fatigue. I’ve dealt with fatigue several times before, but this was significantly worse. I though it was caused by a vitamin deficiency, so I got all of my lab work done. But everything came back unremarkable, and the rapid mono-spot test came back negative. My doctor ordered additional tests, and there was still no answer to why I was so dang tired.

I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety for years, and the summer months tend to be difficult for me. I will get into a summertime slump, and try my best to just make it through my seasonal mental health woes. This summer was difficult, but it didn’t feel like the past few years. I had a hard time staying awake through a full day at work. Despite my best attempts to focus and be productive, I felt like my brain was in a continual fog. I would get home from work, zone out, and not accomplish anything else for the day.

Stress was high because our family knew that a cross-country move was on the horizon. Taylor was transferred to Detroit in March, and it became evident that our family needed to relocate to be with him. I wore myself out trying to apply for jobs for months, and nothing was working out. I was discouraged, in addition to feeling like a blob of fatigue.

In late August, some friends invited me to try a yoga class. I’ve heard that yoga is good for stress reduction, so I figured it couldn’t hurt. I didn’t love the class, but I gave it a good effort. The next morning I woke up feeling toxic. Over the next few days, I started developing swollen glands and a one-sided sore throat. I don’t know if this was caused by the yoga, or the toxins released by the stretches, but the timing is suspect.

As the pain and swelling worsened, I decided to get checked out at urgent care. The rapid strep test was negative, but the swelling was large and abnormal. I was diagnosed with peritonsillar abscesses, which can be caused by both bacteria and viruses. I went through courses of IV antibiotics, antibiotic shots, two rounds of oral antibiotics, and a whole lot of steroids. I spent weeks in pain, in bed, and missing work. I visited with my ear, nose, and throat doctor, who said that if they abscesses didn’t resolve themselves on their own, surgery was the next step.

Over a weekend, things got worse. I was in more pain, the swelling increased, and I was very dehydrated. I went back to urgent care, had another negative strep test, and the doctor diagnosed me with infectious mononucleosis. He ordered a large battery of viral testing, told me to avoid contact sports and saliva contact with people, and urged me to get a tonsillectomy ASAP. A few days later, the results came back. I indeed had mono, even though my earlier rapid strep test was negative. I was positive for herpes simplex 1 virus and Epstein Barr virus, with an active infection for 5 months. The only way to resolve the mono was to get the tonsils removed. As soon as my ENT could get me in, I had a surgery date scheduled.

I will not lie. The tonsillectomy was horrible. I wrote a very detailed post about the nitty gritty of an adult tonsillectomy on my other blog. Two weeks of pain, discomfort, swelling, and misery. But it also was a turning point for me – I knew life was about to get much better. I started to feel a spark in me that had been absent for half a year. After months of unsuccessful job hunting, I started getting job interviews. And then I quickly was offered a job. Things were starting to fall in place for our family to move, and we’re now in the thick of the moving process.

I haven’t been writing about my weight loss surgery much because my other health concerns have been far more important lately. I feel like I’m in my groove as a bariatric patient, and there’s not a lot of new things to write about. I have gained about 15 pounds through this mono/steroids/surgery/moving debacle, and I’m looking forward to being back on a schedule once we’re in our new house. I still feel the effects of mono fatigue, so I’ve been very careful to not overdo it with exercise. I do some moderate walking, but avoid anything excessive. I have far too much stress to manage to push myself physically.

I apologize if my future posts are less frequent. I haven’t give up this blog, but I also have greater responsibilities to fill my time (like my new job). I still plan to lose more weight and document it here. My journey is far from over.

But for now, I’ve at least figured out why I’ve felt so awful for half of a year.

Filed Under: health · Tagged With: fatigue, health, mono, surgery

Wordless Wednesday: Monitoring Reactive Hypoglycemia

March 20, 2013 by Nicole Bullock · Leave a Comment

Filed Under: health · Tagged With: health, reactive hypoglycemia, wordless wednesday

#TmFit And The Walmart Workout

January 1, 2013 by Nicole Bullock · 3 Comments

Happy New Year!

Today begins 2013, a year where I feel in control of my life. I feel in control of my body. I feel in control of my health. And I’m actually doing well with self-control and taking accountability for my actions. I’m not perfect, but I’m trying hard every day.

It’s been more difficult to blog here lately because my rapid weight loss has tapered off. I’ve been at a plateau for a few weeks, and I can’t get the scale to budge below 250.0 pounds. Granted, it’s not just about the scale…I’ve had many non-scale victories. One of the best ways to work yourself out of a plateau is just that: work. You can’t just rely on the food you eat to sustain your weight loss – you must be active. It’s necessary.

My friend Alex published a post on his blog called “Don’t Wait Until January” last week. Along with adopting a more healthy lifestyle for himself, he wants to help others get into a healthier lifestyle using public accountability on social media. In the post, he said

“If you are out of shape, for any reason, I think you should join me in the battle to be healthy again. And for me, it is a battle. A daily one. If you are reading this and you are overweight and out of shape, don’t make fun of it any longer. Don’t tease or joke about how you eat poorly and never exercise. I used to do the same. It’s a defense mechanism. We all want to live happy, fun and productive lives. So let’s help each other do that. I know I need your help and maybe you could use a bit of mine (or someone else’s). If even one of you join in, that would be great. If more of you join in, even better. There is strength in numbers!”

The terms of the challenge? It’s completely up to you. No “crazy pills or fad diets”. Make sustainable changes to your life by eating less (especially junk food) and moving more. And because you can’t improve on what you don’t measure, tracking is essental. I’m using the MyFitnessPal and Fitocracy apps to track myself, and I check in on Twitter (using team fit hashtag #TmFit) and checking in on our Facebook group. Posts are also being made on Instagram and Google+ with the #TmFit hashtag.

Even though I was up past midnight to ring in the new year, I was wide awake at 4:20 am. My gym is closed for the holiday, and I was trying to decide what to do. I didn’t want any excuses (like the 17 degree weather outside) deter me from getting in a workout, so I decided to innovate.

This morning I drove down the highway and did a workout at the 24-hour Walmart. I arrived before 5:30 am, and the only people in the store were employees. As they were stocking the shelves, I kicked my walking into high gear and zig-zagged the aisles. Back and forth through the store, with stops in the sporting goods section to do a few sets of arm exercises with 10 pound dumbbells and a 20 pound kettlebell. I checked my heartrate often to make sure I was always over 140 beats per minute, and I didn’t stop until after I’d hit the hour mark. I got plenty of funny looks from Walmart employees, and had people ask me “Is there anything I can help you find?” more times than I can count. Afterwards, I did some shopping in three different corners of the store (so I didn’t feel guilty for using the store for my personal purposes).

I didn’t use a pedometer, but I’m sure I walked somewhere around 2-3 miles, and my arms are feeling a good burn from the weights and kettlebell. I also don’t know how many calories I burned, but 60+ minutes of moderate exercise is nothing to scoff at. It was much better than risking an asthma attack taking a walk in the cold. Now to see if anyone submits a picture of me to People of Walmart.

My goals for the next 60 days of #TmFit:

Exercise at least 20 minutes, 3 times a week, but strive for more
Get below 240 pounds by the end of February
Track all of my exercise in MyFitnessPal (username: cuteculturechick)
Be honest with my reporting, even when I am feeling lazy or eating poorly

If you’re interested in joining me and Alex (and many other Utah social media friends) in Team Fit, send me a message on Facebook or a tweet to @cuteculturechic and @_alexlawrence with the #TmFit hashtag. Then leave a comment on Alex’s blog post, and you’ll get access to the Facebook group. We’d love to have you join us.

Filed Under: exercise, goals · Tagged With: 2013, excuses, exercise, goals, health, TmFit

Before Surgery Picture and Food Diary 2-3-12

February 3, 2012 by Nicole Bullock · Leave a Comment

Today was a slightly strange day. I started out by waking up at 3:30 am. Now, I usually have lousy sleeping schedules with my sleep apnea, but I really didn’t want to wake up early today. Especially because I needed to have fasting lab work done. I arrived at the hospital and went right to registration. I had to verify my information, pay the deposit for facility charges to St. Marks, and then meet with the pre-admit nurse.

The appointment with the nurse went a little longer than expected, so she told me I needed to wait until after my class to have my lab work. It wouldn’t have been too bad for fasting alone, but to go another 3 hours without water was frustrating.

Before my class started, I had to pay my surgeon’s deposit and “education fee,” which was $1125. I dropped off a thank you card to Christina, the pre-approval rep in the office, thanking her for all of her hard work and persistence to get my surgery approved by Cigna. I really feel like she went above the call of duty. Next, I was given a big packet of paperwork to fill out and some “before” pictures were taken (both for the surgeon’s records and for a photo CD that I’ll get at my first post-op appointment).

The class was really interesting. It was taught by my surgeon’s nurse and one of the hospital’s nutritionists. I found out all about what I need to be doing and eating before and after surgery. I will be getting a pain pump while I’m in the hospital to manage pain levels (since I can’t take pills). I will be on a clear liquid diet for the first few days. In addition to the class information, I met Barbara and Cori, who will also be having gastric bypass surgery with me next week. I have a feeling we’ll be good friends.

After class, I went back to the outpatient nurses area to get more pre-surgery instructions, as well as two items I need for the day before surgery – hibiclens (antibacterial soap) and Citroma (bowel prep drink). I had to give a urine sample, and then she took my blood work. I was upset when I found out that for the fasting labs, I didn’t need to stop drinking water. I was pretty dehydrated at that point, so she had to take blood from my inner upper arm (which left a little hematoma). The best part was that she took my weight – I’ve lost a whopping NINE pounds since Monday. This pre-surgery diet is working! Today’s weight was 363.2.

I finally broke my fast around 1pm, and I was ravenous. Because I had missed all my morning eating, I was good to be a little more flexible on what I ate. I grabbed some food on the way back from the hospital, and later in the evening I went out to dinner with some Yelp friends. Because I sampled a few things at each meal, I really don’t know how to count my calories (and the restaurants don’t have nutritional information on a website).

Lunch -kid’s bean burrito, chicken soft taco, and a few nachos
Dinner – grilled shrimp and veggies, and veggie enchilada with rice and beans
Dessert – shared a single scoop of ice cream with Rosie

Did I stick to 1000 calories today? My guess is that I went slightly over, but I’m not going to beat myself up about it. I can tell my stomach has shrunk this week, and I’m not able to eat as much as I was even a few days ago. Because I didn’t let myself get over-full, I consider the day a success.

Filed Under: food diary, surgery · Tagged With: before pictures, food diary, health, testing

Doing My Best

March 18, 2010 by Nicole Bullock · Leave a Comment

The last few months have really put me through the wringer, emotionally and physically. It has been incredibly difficult to go from an able-bodied, overzealous DO-er, to someone who has to accept help from others, and be satisfied with myself when I accomplish less than my usual best.

My mother has dealt with chronic pain for nearly 17 years, over half of my life. When she wasn’t able to do all that she needed to, I stepped in. I spent most of my teenage years being a nurturer, a teacher, a chauffeur, a cook, and serving my family whenever necessary. It was frustrating and overwhelming at times, but I was happy that I was able to serve. Although I never really understood my mother’s physical pain, I trusted that she was doing the best she could. I knew I had the ability to help…and I did. And still do.

Since I injured my back in December, my life has been like a parallel universe. I have little endurance and mobility. I am dependent on several medications to function AT ALL. I keep ice packs, heating pads, and “granny pillows” at hand. I go to physical therapy 3 times a week. The entire office staff at my doctor’s office know me by name. I’m on the phone sorting out bills with my insurance, hospitals, urgent care clinics, imaging centers, and medical supply companies nearly every day. I deal with symptoms that sometimes cripple my mobility, such as limb numbness from hip to toe, for hours at a time. I got my first bedsore this week. Sometimes I lose bladder/bowel function. Sometimes the cerebrospinal fluid pressure changes from the cysts in my back cause mindblowing headaches. Some days, I barely make it out of bed at all.

And this life does not suit me. At all.

I pray daily for the patience to endure my pain. I pray for the patience of my friends and family members, who are affected by my illnesses. I pray for the understanding of others, that although they may not know the particulars…they don’t judge me harshly for the things I’m not able to do. I pray that my husband doesn’t give up on me, and understands that I’m truly doing my best.

Did you hear that, world? I’M DOING MY BEST.

Please don’t give up on me. Please be patient with me. Please do not judge me for the things you don’t understand. And I’ll do the same for you.

Filed Under: health · Tagged With: health, struggles