In the last 7 weeks since surgery, I’ve had lots of ups and downs, good days and bad days. My bad days are usually from physical symptoms, but today was a BAD emotional day.
I had some rough things happen at work, got very agitated emotionally. As a result, it affected me physically. I have a headache from crying. My body aches like I had a big workout at the gym. I was feeling fine, then suddenly I couldn’t make it at work anymore. I came home and took a long nap. Naps aren’t out of the ordinary since surgery, but I woke up feeling EXHAUSTED.
One thing that I haven’t talked about much on this blog is my long-time struggle with clinical depression. I started on my first anti-depressant at 15, have been in and out of therapists offices to deal with traumatic life events, and have even struggled with thoughts of suicide. It was very out of character for me, but I stopped taking my anti-depressants, cold turkey, after surgery. My main reason for stopping was that I was too lazy to make a doctors appointment to get a prescription for pills in a tablet form. I can’t take capsules right now because my pouch won’t tolerate them.
Surprisingly, the way I’ve felt emotionally since surgery has been much better than I expected. I haven’t really had the down days like I normally have. Today was tough, but it was more of a situational sadness. I’m not going to go into what happened today, but it was definitely the hardest emotional day since surgery. My friend Simply June wrote a post today to help with my bad day. Thanks, June!
I’m getting a little worried that I’m getting another stricture. In my Bariatric Bad Girls Club, we talk about getting “the foamies.” Right before vomiting, you start to get pressure in your chest/pouch area, food and mucusy saliva starts to regurgitate up, and it’s usually a sign that you’ll be vomiting in the next minute or two. I got “the foamies” a lot right before I had my dilation for my other stricture, and I’ve had the foamies a few times this week. I’m hoping that I won’t need another dilation…at this point I can still keep liquids down.
