Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve love to swim.

But ever since I was a little girl, I’ve struggled with my weight.

There have been few times that I’ve been at ease with my body’s shape and size, and it’s tough to get myself into the pool when I’m feeling self-conscious about the way I look in a swimsuit.

I usually go to the pool with a cover-up, and take it off a nanosecond before I plunge into the water. Water distorts the way objects appear, so if I’m underwater, I can just blame the way my body looks on the water.

Last year, I had lost a significant amount of weight by the time “swimsuit season” came around, but I wasn’t really comfortable in my skin. I had a swimsuit that was very tight the year before, and it fit okay the few times I did swim last year. But this year, that suit is way too big. It was especially prevalent to me in San Diego this week – in and out of the water, it was obvious that my suit was too baggy.

I’ve been searching for a new swimsuit for a few weeks, online and offline. I’ve tried on about 35 suits at Macy’s, Dillards, Target, Old Navy, Walmart, Lane Bryant, Avenue, and a few specialty shops. I’ve fallen in love with a few suits online, but they’re expensive enough that I don’t want to front over $100 for a suit that I haven’t tried on. The suit to the right (with the ruffle) I almost bought at Macy’s this week…but I was a little unsure about it because it showed a little more cleavage than I was comfortable with.

Cleavage and swimsuits are a tough thing, especially when you’re busty. You want a suit that gives your chest good definition without exposing too much. I prefer underwire bras, and would love to get a good underwire swimsuit…but I’ve yet to find one that fits me correctly. If it fits the bust, the rest of the suit is usually too small. If it fits the body, my boobs are either swimming in fabric or smashed into stretchy fabric submission. Halters typically work well for me in the chest, but expose too much of my back.

Anyway, today I finally found a swimsuit I love. It’s the Old Navy Control Max Bandeau swimsuit in Retro Violet. And it was on sale for $29.95…which is a steal compared to some of the other suits I’ve tried on this season.

If you look at the picture of me, you can see it’s the same suit as the airbrushed model above…but it looks a lot different on a “real” woman.  I originally tried on the suit in XXL, but it is sized pretty generously and was baggy in the butt. It fits better as an XL, even though it’s a little tight. I hope it’s fitting just right next month when I go to Vegas for the WLSFA meet and greet.

Have you gone swimsuit shopping yet this year?