Unsolicited Advice

One of the most difficult things I’ve encountered in the week since I’ve been telling people that I’m having surgery is the overwhelming amount of unsolicited advice. I feel like every sentence starts with “If I were you…” or “Wait, why don’t you try ____ first?” It feels good to know that there are so many well-meaning people who want me to be healthy, but sometimes I wish people would bite their tongue.

Even though I outlined the nitty gritty details of my weight loss struggles in my post about why I’m having gastric bypass surgery, people are suggesting weight loss methods that have already been unsuccessful for me. Yes, I’ve worked with a personal trainer. Yes, I’ve tried that weight loss supplement. Yes, I understand that I’ll have to completely change the way I eat after surgery.

And then, there are all of the people who are involved in multi-level marketing companies with nutritional products. I’m aware that these shakes and supplements are top-quality and will give me great results…but I DON’T want to sign up for an MLM. For instance, I’m really interested to try the MonaVie RVL shakes, but I can’t just pick them up at a retail store. I’ve reached out to people who are involved with MonaVie, and they want me to just sign up. And then they tell me that if I start the “RVLution,” I won’t even need to have surgery. Maybe I would have been interested 2 years ago, but not now. I’m having surgery, and I’m not going to give that opportunity up after all that I’ve been through to get approved. I have had too many unsuccessful weight loss attempts, and I am confident with my decision.

And for those who are still trying to talk me out of going under the knife:

  • I’ve been to surgery classes and am well informed about the procedure that I’m about to undergo. I am fully educated on the risks and benefits.
  • I have the backing of my primary care physician, pulmonologist, endocrinologist, therapist, and other people who have been professionally involved in my health care. And now, my insurance company has determined medical necessity for surgery.
  • My husband, daughter, and other family members are supportive, and understand the risks and life changes that will have to be made. And they’re excited to see me healthy again after all my illnesses over the past few years.
  • Most of all, it’s my decision. Not yours.


  1. Good for you and best of luck!

  2. Atta girl, you tell ’em!

  3. I have to admit, I’m not a proponent of Weight Loss Surgery in the majority of people who choose the option, but as someone who knows you and your struggles, I agree it’s a good option for you. I’m excited for your new journey and hope you feel healthy very soon!

  4. LOVE THIS!! I had RNY on 7/31/2013 and had the same questions, comments, and even silence regarding my decision. BUT, I could care less! It’s been the best thing I could have ever done for my physical and mental health, my self-esteem, and for my family; it’s a chance at living life again.
    Just found your blog and will definitely continue to read 🙂 WE seem very similar….I weighed 344 on the morning of my surgery (high of 368 but am only 5’5”!), have had significant health probs the past 4 years due to the adverse impact of being so stinkin’ fat my entire life in addition to significant autoimmune diseases that got out of control. I’m so thankful at 7 months out that I’ve lost over 100 pounds so far and feel significantly better already. Trusting the process continues to work….and that I have the willpower to continue to work it for life! Blessings to you!!

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