In A Fight With My Body

feeling rotten

If I’ve learned anything since I’ve had surgery, it’s that my body has a mind of it’s own. Some days are trouble-free, other days make me want to curl up and cry myself to sleep. Today was one of the latter days.

With a vomit-free week and a half after surgery, I was feeling confident that my body was healing and ready for new foods. But even though certain foods are on the list as acceptable for the post-op phase I’m in, it doesn’t mean I’ll be able to keep them down.

This morning was particularly horrid. It started out with liquid diarrhea, which has been pretty common since I started moving my bowels post-op. For breakfast, I had some egg whites with cheese, but was still a little hungry. So my husband heated up some lean turkey sausage links. I cut them up in little bits, but they were very dry. I ate them with some gravy, but it was still hard to stomach. I waited a few minutes to have a sip of water, then the pain began.

It almost always begins in my back for some reason. My spine and back muscles ache, and I want to hunch over. Then I get the feeling like I’ve been punched in my upper gut, and I start releasing funny burpy noises. Some of the food regurgitates up, and I feel like the only thing that will help me feel better is a good burp. And when I get that burp, my mouth starts watering profusely, and I know I’ve got about 10 seconds before I’m going to vomit.

The last two days when I vomited (applesauce and chicken), it was a quick, fairly painless process. I don’t get the yucky bile taste like I used to, since I’m basically emptying the contents of my stomach pouch in reverse. But today, I kept heaving and wretching. And with each wretch, I lose bladder control. Nothing like puking and peeing your pants at the same time. Because it happened in bed, I got to wrap up in my daughter’s cute flamingo sheets while the others were washed.

All of this happened around the time that I was supposed to be getting ready for church. I decided to let my husband and daughter go without me, which was good because I was miserable and nauseous. About 10 minutes after they left, I sipped some water….and lost it a few minutes later. The wretching was even worse this time, so I decided to let my body settle a bit and take some liquid Lortab. I yakked it up almost immediately. At that point I was in pain, wretching, dehydrated, hungry, and ready to take a nap.

After the nap, I felt significantly better. I was able to keep down some lunch, walk around the house a bit, shave my legs, and take more Lortab. But even 7 hours later, I’m still kinda weak and achy. We went to my parents’ house in Lehi for dinner, which was tacos. I had a bit of refried beans, and melted some cheese on the “taco meat.” This “taco meat” was previously prepared ground turkey, frozen and reheated. It was super dry, even with the cheese oils, and I didn’t think I could keep it down. But I moved to a more comfortable chair, relaxed, and let it digest a bit. Despite the discomfort, I was able to keep it down.

Before I left my parents’ house, I hopped on their scale. Tonight I weighed in at 352.0, which is down 3.3 pounds from last Monday. This means I’ve lost 12.3 pounds since surgery, and a total of 21.3 pounds since I started the pre-surgery diet. I’m not really noticing a difference in my clothes yet, but I definitely can see it in my face. There’s a lot more definition in my face, and my cheeks are much less puffy. I wonder how much different I will look once I’ve dropped, 50, 100, or even more weight. I can’t wait until my collarbones show up…I always liked my collarbones. 🙂

Tomorrow is my last day at home before I go back to work. Hopefully I will be able to keep down all my food and not wear myself out too much before returning to the office. I’m going to get a nice new insulated lunch bag tomorrow so I can bring the foods I need to work. I don’t know how many hours I’ll be able to handle this week, but luckily I’ve got a few days to work back up to my normal hours.

Today’s food diary

  • Egg whites and cheese with bits of lean turkey sausage (lost it)
  • Sugar-free fat-free vanilla pudding (lost it)
  • 2 oz of frozen yogurt
  • Hummus, salami, and melted havarti cheese
  • Sauteed baby portobella mushrooms
  • “Taco night” with my parents – melted cheese over ground turkey with refried beans (almost lost it)
  • Melted mexi-blend shredded cheese
  • 2 strawberries
  • Silk coconut milk drink with sugar-free peach syrup


  1. Hang in there girl. You are doing great!

  2. Barfing is the worst. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

  3. I know its really hard at first. I am 5 months out I’m down 106 lbs. You have to start to learn what are the staples that you can eat. For me its applesause, cottage cheese, and crackers. Take it easy going back to work I went back a little too early. You don’t realize how tired you get at first. If you need anyone to talk to I am always willing to listen.

  4. Nicole…way to go! Keep it up! I remember it took me much longer to lose 20 pounds, so you’re way ahead of me. I hope you get feeling better soon!

  5. You’re amazing Nicole. I’m glad I read this post, it only gives me the barest inkling of what you have to go through, but I really felt for a moment that I was there with you. I think it’s important that you’re telling your story. Thank you!

    • Thanks Mary. On days that I don’t feel great, I just have to remind myself that I’m on a journey towards greatness. A lot of people think I took the “easy way” by getting weight loss surgery, but they have no idea the struggles that a WLS patient deals with. As I free myself from my weight-related health problems, I’ll still have health problems…it just won’t hurt my joints so bad to go on another day.

  6. I’m so glad I stumbled across this page! I had my surgery last Monday and I’ve been thinking that there was something wrong, so it’s reassuring to see that you shared the same symptoms as me!

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