A Candid Look At Life After Gastric Bypass Surgery
With all the traveling, holidays, stress, moving, and roadtripping…I haven’t been careful at all about what I’ve been eating the last week. I’ve enjoyed a lot of yummy treats! My scale got packed away, so I don’t know my net loss/gain since my 289 weight on December 12.
As cliche as this sounds, my “diet” begins January 1.
My body still feels out of whack. I felt like I bounced back a little on Monday in time to fly out to California. Grant and Hollie had a holiday party just before I left, and I was so proud of myself. I had half of a turkey-cheese sandwich, a few olives, three bites of jello, and some deviled eggs. And small cups of soy Nog and pomegranate 7-Up. The food didn’t even take up half of the plate. I didn’t touch the chips n’ dip, creamy soup, cheeseball, pumpkin yule log, sugar cookies, candy, pie, or other desserts.
In California on Tuesday, I went out to lunch with my old coworkers at Montclair and Chino hospitals. We ate at Rockin’ Baja Cantina, and it was the most food I’d eaten since I started getting sick. I had some chips with guacamole and salsa, surf-n-turf tacos, and all of us split a fried ice cream dessert. The surf-n-turf tacos had lean carne asada and juicy shrimp…delicious! It felt good to eat enough to actually feel full, but not totally overstuffed.
In the evening, we had the Bullock/Bluhm Christmas party. There was pizza and fried chicken for dinner, but I didn’t really like how either tasted. The frosted sugar cookies, on the other hand, called my name all evening. As the party progressed, I started getting some intense lower back pain. I’d had unusual back pain all day, but it hit me like a brick wall at the party. I started developing a little bit of a fever and general malaise, but it was so close to 9:00 pm that my favorite Urgent Care in Chino Hills was closed. It felt a lot like the pain associated with a kidney infection, and I didn’t want to mess around with an infection like that (espeically not knowing if I had C. Diff conclusively yet) I checked my ER copay ($25) and decided to go back over to Montclair Hospital’s ER. They’ve got a 2-hour ER guarantee, and I was in and out in 70 minutes. I didn’t have any infection in my urine, but was told that it was likely the after effects of all the GI symptoms over the last week. He said to rest, take it easy, and tank up on fluids.
I started today with 2 hours of last-minute shopping, but spent the rest of the day with family. I went to Trader Joes, and had the most successful shopping trip there ever! I didn’t touch all my TJ’s favorites (only bad because I can’t control my portions once I open the packages up):
Sweet Salty and Nutty Trek Mix
Chocolate-covered Edamame
Sweet, Savory, and Tart Trex Mix
Ritter Sport Corn Flake Bar
Pirate Booty
And for Christmas Eve dinner, Taylor had a micro-date to In-N-Out.
My SIL Lissy tagged a picture of me on Facebook. It’s from the trip I took to Cali over Halloween. I know I’ve lost a little bit of weight since this picture, but it disgusts me. This picture was the catalyst for getting back into the mindset of weight loss. Usually when I post pictures online, I make sure they’re at a good angle, or not a full-body shot. And pictures on the couch are always awkward and ugly. My legs look about as big around as Rosie’s waist, and little Phoebe’s whole body is about the size of my forearm. I took off the picture tag once, but she tagged it again. I guess it will remain as motivation to keep working toward my goals.
I just got back from InstaCare urgent care, where I spent over 6 hours today. I explained my signs and symptoms, and was told that there is no way Olestra could have caused what I have. The most likely diagnosis is C. Difficile, but they’ll have to send out a culture to know for certain. They infused three liters of lactated ringers, and each liter took over an hour to infuse.
The upside is the weight I’ve lost this week, as well as the orders to have lots of fluids and yummy popcicles. Hopefully once I gain my energy back, I’ll be ready to hit the exercise and weight loss hard.
My GI-fiasco of 2008 still continues to rage on. I’ve been living in the bathroom anywhere from 10-30 times a day since Thursday. I’ve been trying to drink as much water as possible, but my mouth and eyes are dry, my skin doesn’t look right, my muscles are cramping, and I feel so fatigued…all signs point to dehydration.
Within the last 24 hours, I’ve had 3-28 oz bottles of water, 12 ounces of apple juice, and probably 5 glasses of water. There’s no Gatorade here, but Hollie thinks she might have some Pedialyte. With the severity of my illness, I’ve decided to head to Urgent Care at 9 am when they open and beg for an IV, and maybe some kind of medicine to stop the intestinal earthquakes.
On Thursday morning, I started eating some Pringles. I started getting a funky oily taste in my mouth and looked at the container. I had purchased the “Fat-Free” Pringles that contained Olestra, instead of the reduced fat kind. I’d remembered the accounts from the late 90’s and hoped that I wouldn’t be plagued by the stories of yuckiness. Unfortunately, I have been slammed.
For those that are TMI-freaks, you can read this account of the reality of the after-effects of Olestra. Or here. And this is how I felt just from a handful of chips.
It’s also possible that I picked up the stomach bug my little cousin has had all week, but regardless – I stepped on the two scales in the house I’m staying at, and I’m down anywhere from 5-12 pounds from last week in Michigan.
Hollie (who is technically my aunt, but more like a BFF) has been hosting Taylor, Rosie, Clint and I this week. Today and yesterday morning we had good workouts at 24 Hour Fitness. It’s bring a friend for free month, so the timing was great! I did 35 min on elliptical yesterday, then today I did 25 elliptical, 10 bike, and 20 weights and abs. It was so nice to get in a REAL full-body workout today. It’s been months. Afterward we enjoyed smoothies from Emerald Isle, which is far superior to Jamba Juice.
Hollie has also graciously offered to be my weight loss sponsor. She has set a dollar amount for each pound I lose. I’ll report my weight to her, and then she’ll send a check in 10-pound increments. However, if I gain it back, I have to pay it back. It will be nice to have some free money to spend as I wish…new work clothes, new ipod, etc (once I REALLY get down in weight, that is)
I have been receiving the Title Nine catalog for 5 years now. It’s a great women’s activewear catalog with the most extensive sports bra collection I’ve ever seen. I’ve been wanting to buy an ultra-amazing supportive sports bra for a while, but was leery to buy a $40+ bra without trying it on. When I was in Portland this weekend, I finally got to go to a Title Nine location. I tried on about 2o bras and decided on the 4-barbell rated Frog Bra. Now I’m ready to ban the bounce and get to work exercising!
I snagged this great icon from TAMN‘s blog because I completely relate. Before Taylor and I were together, drinking soda was only an occasional occurrence. And even more rarely did I consume caffiene. Enter Taylor – and I’ve become a 32 oz diet fountain drink junkie. I KNOW it’s horrible for me, and that NutraSweet and Splenda probably DO cause cancer. I’m hooked on Diet Dr. Pepper, Diet Cherry Pepsi, Diet Dew and Coke Zero…especially if I can add a few squirts of cherry or vanilla syrup in.
I will add in that I typically DO drink at least 100 ounces of water per day. It’s not like my fizzy fix is all that I drink. But I have become dependent on cola, and these are the reasons I’ve figured out why:
1. I have sleep disorders – sleep apnea, daytime hypersomnia, and chronic insomnia. I’m up at all hours of the night. I’ve started snoring in the last 2 months. Since 2004, I’ve had 4 overnight sleep studies at a sleep clinic, plus a multiple sleep latency test to rule out narcolepsy (I’m borderline narcoleptic with 9 of 12 narcolepsy markers). When I lived in Utah, I had a a great sleep specialist who found out that the CPAP machine really didn’t help me, but Provigil did. It’s a non-stimulant, wake-promoting drug. As a side effect, it also causes loss of appetite. Part of overcoming sleep issues is losing weight. When I’m on Provigil, I can lose weight consistently and sleep at least 5 consecutive hours of sleep. The issue is that it’s VERY spendy. It’s $4 per pill before insurance. Every other doctor that I’ve been to since I left Utah has refused to prescribe it, and says I need to just use the CPAP. It’s my goal to find a good sleep specialist in Atlanta that will help me overcome these sleep issues so I can get the rest I need to lose weight.
2. I like the taste – I like the bubbly effervescence. I like the flavor on my tongue. I like to drink something different than water. I like the sweet aftertaste. I’m not sure if this factor will ever go away. But I don’t like the bloat, or what it does to my teeth.
3. It makes me feel good – Nothing helps a migraine like a Mt. Dew chaser after a pain pill. It gives me energy to get through a tough workday. It keeps me focused on a long road trip.
4. Taylor loves it – We are so good at sabotaging each other. Sometimes I can go a week without a soda, but he’ll come home from a trip and pour me a glass, and I can’t refuse.
Some people will tell me that I’ll never lose the weight if I keep drinking soda. I know that caffiene is an appetite stimulant; however, if given the choice of a low calorie treat…I’ll take the bottle of Coke over a low-fat fake dessert. I don’t drink coffee or alcohol, so those are two less liquid consumables to tempt me. Pick your poison, I suppose.
My goal is to stop getting any soda larger than 20 oz. No more 32, 44, or 64 ounce monsters.
I’m fed up with myself. 2009 is almost over, and all my weight loss goals have gone out the window. I’ve had varying success with exercising consistently and eating right, but stress/anxiety levels have been through the roof. My horrendous commute has sucked almost 2 hours per day from my disposable time, and the stress at work has really impacted my quality of life. At my highest last month, I hit 297 in Atlanta on my Thanksgiving trip. When I got home, I got to work, went walking around the hospital as much as possible, and started being more careful about what I ate. I’m hovering around 285 as of a few days ago. My flesh is flabby, my clothes are tight, the double chin is back, and I’m craving all the foods that are “bad” for me. Holiday snacks are plentiful and I’m going to be on the road for the next two weeks. I’m trying to plan in some exercise, but it’s tough with all the wintery weather.
Being in Oregon with my grandma has been tough. She’s vocal about how I look in a very negative manner (as always). I’ve had excess weight since elementary school, and only for a short time in high school did she every say I was beautiful. And it was because I was skinny from Phen-Fen at the time. I have this horrible radar for how she judges people off of her weight. When she tells me stories about people she knows, descriptions will be:
“Slim, attractive young lady”
“Intelligent, gorgeous, slender wo-man”
“Unfortunate portly man”
It’s been difficult to hear her make these weight judgments, especially when I’ve recently been so self-conscious about my health/appearance. On the other hand, it’s frustrating that she’ll hand me a heavily-buttered slice of toast and then ask me how my cholesterol is. Or pile on a second helping of food, and then make comments about how I need to do better keeping my “figure”. She probably has never had a weight problem; she is thin as a rail, she only eats one or two meals a day, and she goes walking several times a week. She obviously has better eating habits than I do. She tells me that she fasts regularly to keep herself fitting into her size-6 closet of clothes.
Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” I typically feel quite self-confident about myself, but I’ve always been disappointed with my body. I wish that she didn’t make me feel like such an obese slob. She makes comments about the weight of other people in the family, and it hurts me that she makes it such a personal issue to discuss. A few years ago, my mom lashed out at her for criticizing her weight. Since this incident, Grandma never has said a comment about her weight, to her face at least. I know Grandma means well, but I also don’t have the heart to be disrespectful to my 81 year old elder.
I’ve decided that 2009 will be it – This will be the year I get down to a “healthy” weight. I want to get out of the “morbidly obese” category, and hopefully just down to “overweight”. Taylor also wants to lose weight, and has said that he’ll do everything he can to support me. We’ll learn ways to cook and eat together that do not sabotage the other’s efforts. We would love to get back down to our wedding weight this year, because we’re going to go on a cruise for our 5-year anniversary in October. I hope to lose those 50 pounds in 10 months, and I honestly think it’s doable if I’m focused and have a good support network.
We’re going to make a specific effort on how much we eat out, and the things that we cook at home. We’ll learn recipes together, and keep the ingredients in the house for these healthy recipes, so we’re not tempted to run and grab fast food for dinner (which has become too much a part of our routine in MI, and I can directly attribute a great percentage of my weight gain this year.) As much as Taylor doesn’t like the idea, we’ll try having more meatless meals with a variety of vegetables and fruits. When we do eat out, we’ll split plates and limit appetizers and desserts. And we’ll pack more healthy snacks for when we travel. We are honestly going to try to limit our exposure to the “southern cooking,” even though we love how it tastes. And despite living in the land of Coca-Cola, I’m going to try to give up my caffeine habit.
I want to make exercise a part of my daily routine without seeming like a chore. I do like to exercise; I understand the way that it gives me endorphins and energizes me, the way it combats my depression and anxiety, the way it makes me feel stronger and leaner. However, I’m not going to set a super-specific goal like “30 minutes 5 times a week,” or “45 minutes 4 times a week.” For me, those types of goals are doomed for failure. My goal is to make activity a daily part of my life: walking from a parking spot a little further away, taking the stairs instead of the elevator at work, walking to the grocery store instead of driving (it’s literally within walking distance from our new place in Atlanta). We’re going to get an elliptical machine and set of weights for our home instead of buying a spendy gym membership. Our new condo has a swimming pool and tennis courts. I may occasionally use the gym on campus for a hard and heavy workout.
So here is my quest. I know I can do it. I hope to find some friends that are blogging about their weight loss so we can support each other. For now, I’ll probably just keep this blog private, but as I have some success to share, I may open it up.
Carpe diem.
